In the beginning of September 2026 I joined the Art of Hosting gathering in Belgium on Power and Participation. Below is my harvesting of three profound days on playfully navigating the territory between ‘Power’ and ‘Participation’.
I personally added ‘Peace’ to this. Why? Because I believe in a world of peace where everybody can be who they want to be. At this moment I see in the world around me that ‘power’ and the misuse of it creates a ‘route degradee’ to world peace. A redefinition of power, a rebalancing of the masculine and feminine power is needed. For me the reason to join this ‘Art of Hosting conversations that matters’-gathering in Belgium. The navigation didn’t end for me after this great gathering ended. To be continued… that’s for sure.
The Disbalance of Power: From Misuse to Meaning
Power. The word itself carries weight. Sometimes oppressive, sometimes liberating. For centuries, power has been used as a tool of domination, a masculine force that suppresses, excludes, and controls. History shows many examples of leaders who twisted power into a weapon, leaving behind trails of fear, death, trauma, and division.
But what if power isn’t just about control? What if power, at its core, is about listening and loving? Truly listening, also to what’s not being said in the room?
The insight I got out of the gathering is that Power, both in words and in use, is totally in disbalance nowadays. Power needs to be almost invisible, selfless, to be able to serve the greater picture the world needs. Call it ‘deeply feminine’, but probably that creates immediately a misunderstanding of gender.
Masculine and feminine power is not about gender!
Feminine power is not about women being in power over men. That would also be an example of masculine power. It’s the quiet strength of someone who serves the greater good without seeking credit. It’s the courage to name the unspoken fears and pains lurking in a group, the ones that keep people from speaking their truths. It’s the love that helps us in the healing of our inner wounds, both from ourselves, as from our ancestors. This kind of power doesn’t stomp on the ground with boots on…. It whispers and is therefor easily unheard in the noise of the world around us….
So, we seem collectively blind to this side of power. We human beings have been conditioned for ages to see ‘Power’ through a patriarchal, masculine lens. Then, power only means hierarchy, authority, and often, oppression. The result? A world where minorities (LGBTQ+, refugees, and others) are still fighting for safe spaces, where money is mistaken for power, where fear of whatever (of success, of vulnerability, of not being “good enough”) keeps us trapped in cycles of misunderstanding and where polarities increase fed by the danger of this single, pure masculine story on power.
The Triangle of Power-Trust-Fear… and Love
What are we, as humans, so afraid of when it comes to power? Is it the fear of success on our own terms? The collective anxiety of women (and probably also men) feeling “not good enough”? Or the terror of vulnerability of admitting that we, too, are uncertain, wounded, or in need?
Power, trust, and fear form, so we discoverd, a delicate triangle. Trust is the foundation that allows power to be shared and shine in a positive sense. Fear is the shadow that disbalances the power, and also influences in a negative way the trust.
At the Art of Hosting gathering in Belgium I realized that the rigid polarity between Power and Love isn’t about opposites at all. I wrote down in my notes: True power is love in action…. On paper a cliché, but in practice a force that includes, empowers, and heals rather than divides.
Power as a Path of Love (and Responsibility)
The constellation we did, gave me the insight, that ‘When we lead, when we are in power, we are representing Love’. When I realized this, it gave me the feeling of a huge, heavy responsibility….
How can I look at those world leaders (I won’t mention names…) who constantly are misusing their power for their own benefits, with Love???? Sorry, when I look at what is happening right now in the world around me, I feel anger, powerlessness, sadness…. Anything but ‘Love’…. One of us said afterwards: “Is only Love enough, or do we need more?”
Pondering on these thoughts I realized that it is also about Love for myself. The acceptance that I feel anger when I hear stories about people being oppressed. It shows me what I stand for myself and how I can be in power myself. I also realized that these world leaders probably have their own fears, which lead them to the stupid descisions they make. Yeah, I probably can’t change those world leaders right away… But maybe they read this blog too and start questioning themselves…. who knows? 😉
Power as a Path of Love will eventually lead to inner wisdom, to accountability and the courage to face our personal and collective traumas.
Europe started as a Peace Project
Europe started as a peace project. It seems like we have forgotten about that. But the way we have organised the European Union offers a model where power could be positive. Yes, the organisation might be very slow in decision making. Yes, it might be very bureaucratic. But it is still a force in service of every european inhabitant, regardless of gender, origin, religion, or identity. It at least in my eyes tries to listen to all the different perspectives we have in Europe on any topic.
And yes, there is still a lot of work to do to make this Peace Project successful… Some suggestions based on my insights in Belgium, we must:
- Acknowledge the wounds and deaths, both personal and collective, left within every European by the misuse of power in our shared history.
- Face the grief we’ve suppressed collectively, the mourning we’ve avoided. In our shared history we have buried so much… the grief over lives lost in wars against each other based on misused powers, the pain of exclusion, the trauma of being unseen or unheard. These shadows won’t disappear by themselves.. they still fester in our collective European mindset and they will erupt like volcanoes when we least expect it.
- Create conditions where wisdom can be spoken in respect of every different perspective on any topic. Create conditions where fear doesn’t silence truth. Healing begins when we stop suppressing and start facing.
For me personally the question ‘How can I be a droplet in the river of “Let every person be who they want to be”?’ is my leading guideline on power after the Art of Hosting gathering. The answer probably lies in rebalancing my own inner and outer power. Embracing both masculine and feminine power myself in what I do and don’t do in my life. Helping dismantling the “single story” of what power should look like based on our history and start daring to be vulnerable and share my truths also in situations with people who share opposite ideas.
Practical Steps Toward a New Power Paradigm
So, how do I rebalance power? How do I disarm the destructive, controlling force that says, “This is how the world should be” (and, by extension, you and you don’t belong there….)?
What I got out of the conversations that matters in Belgium is
- Ask myself the Hard Questions (and dare to answer them… 😉)
- What am I afraid of?
- What do I truly stand for?
- What shadows am I suppressing?
- What can I leave behind -from my ancestors, from society- that no longer serves me and the world around me?
- Lead with Love (and Curiosity)
Power led with openness, purity, and curiosity is love in action. It’s not weak… it’s radically strong.
- Create Spaces for Wisdom
Wisdom doesn’t thrive in bubbles. It needs diverse voices, deep listening, and the courage to sit with discomfort. Different perspectives, different opinions are a must to balance power…. As long as they are listened to with respect to one another.
- Dismantle the Money-Power Illusion
Money ≠ Power. True power is the ability to uplift others, even when it costs you nothing.
- Embrace Playfulness
As the Art of Hosting showed me, that even with a heavy theme as power playfulness is needed. It avoids paralysis due to the severity of the misuse of power in history and nowadays. It also disarms fear. And last but not least it invites creativity. A creativity needed to reframe the story on power into a new paradigm.
A Call to Collective Action
Europe’s peace project reminds us: Power can be a force for good. But only if we:
- Stop equating power with control.
- Start seeing it as a responsibility to serve the greater picture.
- Face our traumas, personally and collectively.
- Let go of the single stories that blind us, like money equals power.
After these three days of playing on ‘power’, I think that power in itself isn’t the problem. The problem is our collective refusal, conscious or subconscious, to redefine and rebalance the meaning of ‘power’. The moment we see our blind spot of the single story we tell about power at this moment and the danger of that one way perspective…. that is the moment the change to the road to world peace really begins.