Dealing with Setbacks

… with the Narrative Approach! Meaning: let your archetypes work with you, instead of against you.

If you are doing well, your work and/or your life often runs smoothly. But in difficult times, when you experience all kinds of setbacks, without knowing or realizing it the shadowside of your archetypes probably take over. My grandmother always said: “Child, everything comes in threes. The good, but also the setbacks.” I never counted them, but I understand what she meant. When things go wrong in your work or in your life, insecurity rears its head. You start to ask yourself if you are on the right path. You doubt yourself, your next step. Sometimes you will even feel paralyzed and nothing will come out of your hands anymore. And you are not the only one in this…. What to do then?

Dealing with setbacks in a narrative way

In this post I’ll share with you how you can deal with setbacks in a narrative way. You can never prevent setbacks, but you do have a choice in how you deal with them. If you look at your setback through narrative glasses, other possibilities arise. Because, even if you work alone, for example when you are self-employed, you are never really completely alone: your inner network full of archetypes works with you, or….. against you. All the time! Even if you are 😉 not aware of them.

If you want to know first what archetypes actually are? Then read my blog about it.
When you want to get started working with different archetypes? Then take a look at my agenda.

Read further if you are curious how you can deal with setbacks in a narrative way.

Your inner boardroom

Think of yourself as a giant company with countless inner employees. Jung called these ’employees’ archetypes. Plato talked about primal characters in us. But they are also called ‘inner selves’, or subparts of our personality. Give it the name…

What matters is that this giant inner company also has a boardroom or an inner management team. This boardroom consists of 8 – 12 archetypes, who are the most active in you. Archetypes that continuously participate in everything you say, do or let go. Consciously and unconsciously.

You are the CEO

You are -or should be- the CEO of this internal management team. The man or woman who gives direction and make the final decisions based on what your archetypal team says to you. If you are not aware of this inner boardroom of you, big chance that one or two of your dominant archetypes totally take over. Then you probably react on difficult situation in the same way over and over again. For example, when your inner Warrior takes over, you get really angry when things don’t work out the way you want. Or, when your Wounded Child or inner Victim takes over you problably keep on pittying yourself and do nothing when you face setbacks….

The clearer you know which archetypes are at your own inner boardroom table, the easier it is for you to deal with the dominant archetypes that take over. And when you listen to all the archetypes sitting at the table, you’ll make different choices how to deal with setbacks. So it will be easier for you to stay on track in your life, even when things get tense.

Archetypes as a compass

Maybe without realizing it you know and recognize some archetypes. The Saboteur or inner Critic, for example, is very famous and often seated at boardroom tables of people. The Saboteur is that voice inside you that keeps saying, “You’re not good enough.” or “You can’t do it.” This archetype can be very paralyzing, certainly in setbacks. But every archetype also has a light and helping side. The light side of the Saboteur is that he or she challenges you to rise above yourself, to become a better version.

Other examples of archetypes are the Warrior in you, which helps you to stand up for what you really find important. Or the inner Child, Caregiver, Judge, Wanderer, King or Queen. But also think of places, or things, or animals, when you think of archetypes that are active within you. “I release the Lion in me.”, is an example of an archetypal statement, which everyone understands immediately.

If you know better which archetypes are active in you, you will make more conscious choices about what you do, or not and how you react in situations. You recognize their light and shadow side. And along with that the behavior of yourself that comes with the dominancy of certain archetypes.

Why this works in times of setbacks

The cause of setbacks is not always under your control. How you deal with it is. Connect to your inner archetypes gives self-confidence and decisiveness. You use the wisdom that is already in you and that is much more than you think. The trick is to get to know your inner management team. So that they are not taking over in your life, but you yourself continue to determine the direction. The exercise below helps you get to know your own boardroom.

And perhaps superfluous, but good to know: Just like with a ‘real’ multinational, your management team at your internal multinational is not set in stone. Depending on the phase in your life, your management team will differ. In addition, it is also true that in certain specific situations, for example with a specific assignment at work, archetypal sub-teams become active, such as your creative team, or your caring team. But these types of sub-teams are managed by your internal management team. That is why it is important to get acquainted with them.

Exercise: make your inner boardroom visible (15 – 30 minutes)

Goal: To gain insight into the archetypes that are most active in your life or in your work right now. In addition, you will learn how this management team can support you in times of setbacks.

Supplies:

1 sheet of paper (preferably A3)
Pen + 3–6 colored pens or markers
Timer

Tip: Preferably do this exercise in one flow. Write quickly, don’t censor and certainly don’t start thinking. Everything is welcome, because it gives you the purest picture of your inner archetypal boardroom.

Step 1 : Determine your question or focus (1 min)
Write in the middle of your sheet a question or a theme, f.e.: “What is going on in my life/work now?” or “My next step in [project].”
Step 2 : Brainstorm unfiltered (15 – 20 min)
Set your timer for 15 – 20 minutes. Write down all the thoughts that come to mind when you think about your question or theme: single words, half and full sentences, images, jokes, doubts, brilliant ideas, etc.
DO NOT think about structure or order. Just fill the sheet. Everything is ok. And you can write down everything around your question or theme. As long as you keep writing for all those 15 – 20 minutes.
Step 3 : Cluster by means of colours (5–10 min)
Give everything that you think belongs together the same colour:* Give all funny comments the same color.
* Highlight uncertainties with a different color.
* Display powerful, confident sentences in a different color.
* Color also, for example, your ideas/vision in the same color and the creative solutions a different colorThis creates several clear ‘islands’ on your sheet. Groups of the same type of thoughts. These clusters are the comments and images of the different archetypes within you. Archetypes that are active in the topic you focus on in this exercise.
Step 4 : Give each cluster an archetypal name (3–5 min)
Look at each cluster and give it a name that works for you.
Examples: Artist, Clown, Warrior, Heart, Cave, Key, Lion, Gray Mouse.
A person, place, animal or thing, as long as you feel it that it is the right name. These are your inner employees. So there is no right or wrong in the naming. You decide.
Step 5 : Review your management team (3–5 min)
Briefly answer these questions for yourself:
- Is my management team balanced? Or is there an archetype that is very dominant? In other words: Who shouts the loudest?
- Which archetypes only occur a few times and do you hear or see much less in your life?
- What are the light and shadow sides of your archetypes?
- Which archetypes mainly show their shadow side in your life? What does this give you? What happens when you connect to their light side?
- Which archetypes help you? Which hinders?
- Which archetype do you want to listen to more often in the coming week?Write 1–2 sentences per question.
Step 6 : Finish as CEO of your management team (2 min)
Make the decisions below so that you lead your team. Around my question/theme
- I will listen extra to [archetype] in the coming week.
- I park or delimit: [archetype] (and how to do that).
- I am going to be the first … [small, achievable concrete step].Everything you pay attention to, grows. If necessary, schedule a moment in your calendar right away.

**Results if you lead your archetypal management team**

What this exercise will do for you

Self-insight: you can see at a glance who is ‘at your boardroom table’. This gives you a certain understanding where your behavior or reactions come from.
Direction: you consciously determine which inner voice you follow and how you deal with the setback. This way, even the less visible sides of you get some room in your behaviour and become more visible.
Peace & focus: from noise to direction. When archetypes take over in your life, you’ll experience a lot of ‘noice’ that has nothing to do with what you try to focus on. Knowing them, it will be easier to stay on track.

Feel free to repeat this exercise monthly or whenever it rubs. This way you get your management team clearer and clearer and then you are and remain in the lead.

Have fun meeting your management team!

And do you feel like an archetypal business session? Get in touch.
Would you like more tips or inspiring exercises from me? Sign up for ‘Balanced Stories’, my newsletter will popup in your mailbox then irregulary.

To be continued…

Frédérique te Dorsthorst – de Muij

November 2025